I am selfish

So, in the past 3 days, I've had a whole bunch of my stupid girl-complexes "activated"... some of them really silly, like Jillian telling me she already bought my Christmas present already and me freaking out about it (I don't like presents... too much pressure).  Others a little bit less silly, but still silly enough, like being 'mysteriously' blocked from my dad's Facebook, leading me to believe that he obviously doesn't love me anymore.  (Don't worry- it wasn't him- I'm still his favorite)

A few other things have happened that have challenged my self-esteem and made me wonder about why I'm still letting other people's actions determine my feelings about myself.

No answers, no insights.  But today is my first night at the soup kitchen, and I spent the day (after a quick meeting at work) shopping for food.  I'm about to start cooking, and then I'll be off to finish cooking, and serve people who can truly be considered 'the least of these'.

Above everything else today, I'm exceedingly glad that I have a reason to get my silly brain off myself, and focused on other people.  People who don't have the luxury of having all the stupid girl-complexes that I do, because they're too busy worrying about when they'll eat next, or where they're going to sleep tonight.

They don't wonder if friends are mad at them, because they don't have any friends. 

They don't wonder if their family is mad at them, because they don't have any family.

They don't wonder if what they just ate is headed straight to their hips, because they haven't eaten since Sunday.

They don't wonder about half the stuff I do, because they don't have the opportunity. 

Today, I'm grateful that I can answer their "how am I going to eat tonight" wonderings, and I'm determined to stop thinking about myself for at least long enough to meet one of their most basic needs.


Maybe it'll carry over to tomorrow too :)

Brooke