My Life is Not My Own

 When I was pregnant and my body was changing beyond my control I started to feel like my body was just not my own anymore. I made decisions that transcended my preferences for the benefit of my child.

Then when my boys were little my days were filled with meeting their needs, teaching and creating family memories. It takes a crazy amount of time to care for infants and toddlers and even school age children. The demands on a mom are endless.

 I I felt like my life was no longer my own.

These were not necessarily bad feelings. Although some days it was difficult and even overwhelming at times.

 I can remember wanting to be able to read a book, not just one page over and over for lack of concentration. I wanted to take a bath without children knocking on the door with their questions and needs.

My days were consumed with my children. My life was just not my own. My needs and desires became secondary to their needs and desires. I made this choice to put my needs and desires after that of my children when I became a mother


When I became a Christian I did the same thing; I put my needs and desires after the desires of God.

Do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own; you were bought at a price. Therefore, honor God with your body. 1 Corinthians 6:19-20

This past week I had spoken this Scripture to someone in describing my life of service.  I wake up (almost every day) and I think "what can I do for God today?" My deepest longing is to meet HIS needs along with meeting the needs of my family. It's what I do.

Well, God has a funny way of testing us when we profess to live a certain way. So today I  was faced with a decision to prove that I do "know" that my body is not my own.

God provided an opportunity for me to say "yes" to a need that came up on a mission trip, I would like to say that I said "Yes" easily without reservation but that wouldn't be the truth. I wrestled for awhile with my own needs and desires before I remembered that Jesus paid a huge price for my life and t is not my own.

I have spent the evening gathering all the necessary items that I need to fit into my suitcase tomorrow. I will be flying off early Wednesday morning to do HIS work.

I am not a lover of extreme heat but I am heading right into it. For one week I will submit my personal preferences to HIS; for my life is not my own.

In Him,

ruthann